Lockdown Lessons Learned
This is my last week of virtual 2L and I truly believe the end of online law school is in sight! I don’t expect another semester on Zoom - the HLS administration is doing everything they can to get us back in person this fall.
As the kids say, my time online has been real, it’s been fun, but it hasn’t been real fun. However, my wise mother pointed out that I must have learned things in the virtual world that I wouldn’t have in a traditional environment. She was right, of course (and definitely inspired this post - as I’ve said before, I’m open to suggestions!). I’ve learned a lot during 2L that is totally unrelated to the death penalty and international law. Long term, I daresay these life lessons might even benefit me more than a traditional second year of law school!
THE IMPORTANCE OF MENTAL HEALTH
That’s it. That’s what I’ve learned. See you next week 👋
Seriously though - last week, a friend asked how I’m really doing and it took me a minute to realize that I’m doing great! I told him it’s a bit scary how little I’ve retained this semester, but I’m mentally and physically good - and that’s what really counts. After a tough summer online, 2L was all about developing strategies to boost my resiliency. And you bet I’ll take these into this summer, 3L, and beyond.
First, getting outside. Vitamin D has been critical during COVID. Even in the depths of Boston winter, I tried to walk to the store or take a lap around our pond every day to get that sun in. Let me tell you, this was a tough adjustment for someone whose life revolves around efficiency!
Side note - this also applies to drives in nice weather with windows rolled down and music turned up. WHY is that so therapeutic???
Similarly - getting that workout in. I went through some rough patches with workout motivation, but always came back around because physical fitness is a non-negotiable for my mental well-being. When I was really dragging, I tried to get creative; slow jogs were big this year, as well as HIIT sessions on my living room floor, and even the occasional base foray to hit the stairmaster. As Tim Gunn always says - “make it work!”
Second, various methods of self-care. Lots of face masks and Ben & Jerry’s, but also pedicures & face treatments when they was safe to resume! I’ve talked about this before, but my face girl has me on a path to Long-Term Skincare Wellness and my skin has never been happier. Good deal when you have to stare at yourself on Zoom all day…
Finally (and possibly the biggest change) - disconnecting from social media. And honestly, the internet in general. Some days, the phone just needs to stay in the other room! I deleted the Facebook app sometime last fall and it’s been a gamechanger for my attitude and mood in general. I’ve also cut back on the Instagram time/posts, and am more cognizant about who and what I follow.
COFFEE SHOP COFFEE IS EXPENSIVE
…and other things I don’t need/could have made at home. The list was truly endless 🤦♀️ But the pandemic changed that! After seeing just how much money I wasted on/around campus, I’ve taken up home-brewed coffee (from a Black-owned business; check them out here!); started relying on PB&J for lunch and cheapo Trader Joe’s for dinner; and threw myself into bargain-and-discount shopping with a vengeance. Now, the occasional Starbucks coffee or bakery pastry is a treat - and I plan to keep it that way.
THE POWER OF A ROOM RE-FRESH
Especially when you’re living in that room 24/7. Because we move every few years (and have never lived together before), Ben and I don’t put a ton of effort into decorating our living spaces. But we’ve made some serious changes during the pandemic! The bedroom has A Theme now, we’ve been through several iterations of couch cushions, and the living room/kitchen now feature several plants (alive and dried). I’m most proud of a new set of curtains in our bedroom: two leather straps, a wooden dowel rod from Home Depot, and two curtains from Target = a DIY victory for Cambridge, Massachusetts.
APPRECIATION FOR AHI
Not the fish (blech) but I’ve definitely gained a newfound appreciation for Actual Human Interaction. Even if it’s via Zoom! Ironically, the best way to connect with other people was often through increased (but focused) time on the video platform. Sticking around for questions after class and scheduling virtual office hours helped me see the “human side” of my professors and classmates. The idea that you “lose a lot” to a muted, Brady-Bunch-of-squares environment is completely true, and one-on-one or small group interaction was a great way to counteract that.
Luckily, I haven’t been totally relegated to interactions online. My friends in Cambridge and I made a point of getting periodic COVID tests and socially distanced drinks or dinner, and Ben and I routinely met with a crew on Hanscom Air Force Base. This made all the difference, especially when travel was out of the question. Instead of dreading social interaction because I’m tired, or have too much going on, I relish it. Kind of crazy that just being around other people and sharing normal interactions have come to mean the world to me!
SETTING BOUNDARIES IS A MUST
This is still a work in progress, but I’m getting there. I’m a “people pleaser” by nature, so saying “no” or standing up for myself doesn’t come easily. But the overwhelming nature of the pandemic - endless news, polarized political climate, limitless internet access/meeting availability - made me get better. And guess what? It’s only reflected positively on my relationships, not negatively.
I’ve also learned the importance of setting realistic expectations for myself! Sometimes this looked like “you’re going to stop checking email at 9pm and if they haven’t gotten back to you - figure it out tomorrow.” Sometimes that looked like, “okay - you’re overscheduled for today, so take advantage of the professor’s offer to take the day off on cold calling.” Instead of stressing out about accomplishing everything I set in my head, I’ve relaxed my own personal standards a bit. The trade-off is well worth it - I feel better, for sure.
SPIDERS AREN’T SCARY.
hahaha JUST KIDDING - even a pandemic can’t fix this phobia. I know they’re harmless. I know I could squish them. I know they eat mosquitos and other bad stuff, blah blah blah…but I just cannot with all those legs.
FRIENDS & FAMILY REALLY ARE EVERYTHING
Increased FaceTimes and phone calls have been gooooood for the soul. Same for actual quality time spent with my significant other (turns out simply being in the same house 24/7 doesn’t automatically increase that!) I’ve been geographically separated from my immediate family since I was 18, and despite the decrease in physical interaction over the past year, I’ve never felt more connected to them.
This goes to my earlier point about sacrificing Efficiency for…well, humanity, honestly - but it runs deeper than that. Pre-pandemic, I really felt like traveling was the only way to “see” everyone I cared about. Now, I realize it’s far more about taking the time to connect with them periodically, for an hour or two at a time. In fact, if the travel is actually burning me out (as it did during my last military assignment) then those trips are just added stress, not meaningful opportunities to connect. The online world has given me ample time to reflect on who and what truly matters, and forced me to find creative ways to maintain/bolster those connections. Above all else, I don’t plan to sacrifice this particular ‘Lesson Learned’ when things “get back to normal.”
