New Year, Same* Me

I’ve always had mixed emotions about new year’s resolutions and the phrase “New Year, New Me.”

On one hand, goals are great! It’s nice (and personally necessary) to have guiding ideals and things to shoot for. On the other, it’s overwhelming to wake up on The Day of Reinvention and feel like it’s either now or next year, baby.

Still, 1 Jan feels like a good time to set intentions for the upcoming year - especially because it comes at a natural break in work and school. As I head into my last semester of law school, the bar exam, and my first assignment as a JAG, here’s what I’ll *continue* doing in 2022.

BALANCING THAT WORK-LIFE BALANCE

This has been my goal since first semester of 1L (kinda bummed - I KNOW I wrote about this in Jan 2020, but lost the post after transferring LBAF to a new webhost service. C’est la vie). During that first semester, I legitimately spent every waking moment (except Halloween) thinking about, reading for, and stressing over class and exams.

That was, in a word, ✨ unsustainable ✨ Also, not that fun.

So I made adjustments and honestly feel I’ve done pretty well over the past four semesters and past summer in particular! I’ve stayed busy but not unmanageably so. Zoom was naturally more chill than campus; I pulled back on the ‘work’ and upped the ‘fun,’ adjusted whenever that balance got out of whack, and saw some great results.

That is, until I took on clients this fall. It’s hard to see in the moment but looking back, my work schedule was more unsustainable than 1L fall - my “unread text” count reached 50+ multiple times (not a good sign for someone who loves personal connection), I had trouble sleeping, and felt emotionally drained every single day. BUT I get another shot this semester and then a whole career as a lawyer afterward! Plenty of time to continue perfecting the ole work-life balance.

STOP SKIING

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m not in it for the slopes, I’m in it for the lodge drinks. Preferably with a book by a nice roaring fire.

And I’m only half kidding. In reality, “stop skiing” is part of my continuous journey to stop doing things from a sense of obligation and/or in the name of people-pleasing. Skiing is just my target because I keep doing it even though I know I don’t like it much. Why.

Don’t get me wrong - we all have things we don’t necessarily want to do, but that we do anyway because we’re good people. And there are days where everyone wants to straight-up cancel everything, right? Right. So this is not an announcement that I’ll follow those urges exclusively in 2022! It’s just a reminder that my time is valuable and I don’t need to bend over backwards to accommodate everyone around me, all the time. Just sometimes. With subtle backbends. And it’s okay to say no.

CONTROL WHAT I CAN, LET THE REST GO

Working in actual courts has truly put my “control freak” tendencies to the ultimate test. My clinical instructor has reminded me over and over that I can only do what I can do…I can’t control how people respond to it. Can’t control what a client does or doesn’t do, can’t control what a judge or jury decides. Can’t even control how a simple hearing will go (as much as my brain tells me that overpreparation IS the answer, it IS!)

But seriously, what an important thing to internalize. If you’re familiar with the Enneagram types, I’m a Three: The Achiever. I Like To Achieve Things. And if I live my life measuring (professional) success by things that are out of my control, I think I’m in for a not-so-fulfilling experience.

TAKE OUT THE TRASH

Anyone else think of Lady Gaga in House of Gucci when you hear this phrase? Just me? Okay. I also don’t mean literally taking out the trash (although that’s important too). I mean getting rid of the things that don’t serve me anymore. Furniture, clothes, stuff, habits…all of it. At one point I thought this was something I could “achieve,” like beating a video game: Congratulations Riley! You have finally reached the optimal balance between minimalism, functionalism, and personal happiness. This balance will never change - you’ve done it! Mission accomplished.

Spoiler alert, I keep changing. My wants, needs, and tastes keep changing. Future paths keep changing. EVERYTHING KEEPS CHANGING! All I can do is identify today’s trash, take it out, and not worry about tomorrow’s (see above, “control freak”).

KEEP SAVING!

We loooove to see those numbers go up. Ben and I are honestly a little obsessed with saving: we set both individual and ‘couple’ goals for our various accounts and enjoy talking about those goals, our progress, plans, strategies, etc. With a little luck, we’re set to achieve a huge couple milestone in 2022!

*Immediately goes and knocks on wood to counteract the audacity*

So there you have it - I’m staying the same* in 2022. But who knows, maybe a slightly new-and-improved RV will enter 2023 because of it!